i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
