I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
