is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
