Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
