I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
