He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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