I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
