DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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