Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
