one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
