I look better un-naked...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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