She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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