Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
