why do cheetos always look like penises
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
