I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
