There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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