you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
