definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
