it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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