They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
