i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
