He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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