I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
