How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
