hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
