I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
