WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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