Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry matthewpaulengel hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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(806): View more from Texas

pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?

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(718): View more from New York

"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.

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(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig

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(217): View more from Illinois

Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"

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(207): View more from Maine

He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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(406): View more from Montana

Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?

(778): View more from British Columbia

haha no, it was majik

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