Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're too hungover to prance.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
