i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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