i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
