Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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