that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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