he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
