i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
