It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
