...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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