In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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