This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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