He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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