he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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