Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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