not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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