I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize