sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
