Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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