We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
