Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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