she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize