Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
