she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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