At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
