Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
