they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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