It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
