I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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