Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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