Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
