Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
