i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
