Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
now i know why i became what i already was.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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