Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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