garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
