She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
