He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
