Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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