in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
