You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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